Hard to believe that I haven't written anything since April; that's what happens when the zest you had for life, the contentment you felt for what you have, the security you were enjoying and counting on, just goes down the drain. Things changed. The end of the school year was filled with disillusionment and a feeling of real remorse. I was saddened by the events happening in education and quite bewildered by the attacks on teachers. I was never so glad to have a school year come to an end, and I had high hopes for a summer of relaxation and forgetfulness. I was neither able to relax nor put out of my mind all of the ignorance and injustice that was going on politically. For the first time I had a real understanding and compassion for those who have ADD and ADHD because I was unable to focus for any length of time, to complete a task started, or to take myself through the process of accomplishing the simplest things I set out to accomplish. I tried all summer to just relish in my family and be thankful for my blessings in the hope of rediscovering the feeling of happiness that was just a natural part of my existance not so long ago. Didn't happen. There was always that dark cloud of discontent and confusion keeping me from being able to fully enjoy the many moments spent with family and friends that ordinarily would have been down right blissful. Summer ended; I won't say I entered the new school year with a positive attitude, but I did make the decision to be more compliant. I did not want to leave at the end of the day being frustrated and angry when that which was to blame for those feelings was beyond my control. I needed to feel happy. It's not working. Here's the crux of my problem; there are two major issues being ignored by all of our elected leaders and those who hope to be elected. The first is poverty. It is real, and it is keeping a multitude of children from ever seeing their true potential. I was watching a news show not long ago where a guest said that America is the land of opportunity for those who have money. This statement is true, and it is time everyone acknowledged that money equals power becuase it affords you opportunities. So if politicians really want to reform education and close the achievement gap then they need to address the issue of so many (and it is rising), children living in poverty. We need to take care of those who are needy, and we do that by providing assistance. That assistance does need to be more than a handout. It needs to be long term programs that afford change in communities, and this takes commitment to the ideals of a society that believes in the common good and not just what is good for me. What makes this most difficult is that for some reason we have come to see altruism as a form of volunterism by ordinary citizens instead of the role of those who govern. The second issue is that of accountability. Those who legislate would like the public to believe that teachers are soley to blame for the failure of our students. The general public, which includes students and parents, would like to believe this too. Without meaning to offend, it isn't true. I don't know when we became a society of "it's not my fault" but we did. I do know that in education and parenting circles in decades past we were admonished for destroying the self esteem of our children by expecting them to own their choices. We were basically led to believe that if our students or children failed, we had not prepared them well enough to make decisions that would not result in discomfort. How assinine! We are still paying the price for this ridiculous notion, and it seems to be escalating instead of going away. We live today in a world that would not have even been imagined by our grandparents, and there is no way we can fathom what is ahead for the generation of children that follow us, so we do them no favors by allowing them to believe that the choices they make have no consequences. The more our students, our children, are saved from failure the less they learn, and the less they learn the more vulnerable they are to failure. This reality needs to not only be recognized but embraced. As a teacher, I have not failed my students if they do not pass a test, but I have failed them if they are given to believe that their failure is due to me. To legislate success as deemed by a test score without acknowledging effort and desire minimizes the power of an individual to overcome his circumstances, and leaves way too many behind. This blog posting has been a journey for me and a bit of stream of consciousness writing. I thank those who have seen it to its end! I do feel that I am back, but I am not the same. Change, however, allows for growth and that is a good thing. Rosemary